Mr F becomes Mr NSF

I have been informed that the mint shower gel has to go as it causes tingly tezzies. Sigh – will grab a boring one when we’re out shopping today. I would have thought the odd tingling in the tezzies would be rather desirable but apparently not.

I’ve been threatening to buy Mr Fluffy the hair removal device, the ‘NoNo’, to rid him of his unsightly upper-lip hair but he has gone and had his hair and beard cut  so he is now Mr Not-so-Fluffy and I have to think of a different Christmas present. There is a plethora of men’s barbers around Southbourne but we managed to find the one who looked the most drunk and most dirty. On entering his establishment we were shocked to see a very red-faced, bulbous-nosed chap emerging from the back. By the time we noticed the mounds of hair on the floor it was too late to retreat so Mr F took a seat and prepared to be shorn. I was ushered into the back to watch tele and read tabloids (which I declined) whilst being surrounded by football paraphernalia and empty champagne bottles.

The new look Mr Not So Fluffy

The cut ended up being pretty good for £8.00 although I did have to snip quite a bit of beardage away that the barber had missed.

We’re currently in a field surrounded by diggers and tractors near Bournemouth Airport so Mr NSF is in heaven. We may only be here for a short while as things are moving along on the house front. Watch this space.

Ten Things We Like About Dorset

It’s been a week or more of very little wifi at Sandy Balls then in a field near Walkford so apologies for the lack of bloggage.

Loving the New Forest Horses

We are discovering the gorgeousness of Dorset so I thought I’d put a list of things we like about it so far:

1. There are public toilets everywhere which are both free and open, a far cry from the dire situation in Cornwall where, if you do manage to find a public loo, you have to fork out 20p or thereabouts to ‘have a slash’.

2. Like Cornwall, it is pretty dog friendly and Hugo has been welcomed into most cafes, restaurants and shops. He’s been treated to many a dog biscuit which he fussily declines unless I give it to him or Graham pretends to eat it first.

3. The beaches have real sand and the stony ones are littered with hag stones. Graham particularly loves the sound of the waves on the shingle which reminds him of his youth in Hampshire.

Hagstones at Hengitsbury

4. People smile and chat even if they don’t now you, particularly dog walkers. Everyone we speak to says how friendly everyone is and how much they enjoy living in the area.

5. There is a library one block from the house we are looking at buying and it is still open…

6. The many restaurants and cafes we have discovered thus far have great food, have interesting setups (e.g., a knitting cafe, a cycling cafe, an ancient hippie doing Italian food cafe), and let dogs in, especially in Southbourne. The service is efficient and friendly so far.

7. The New forest is stunningly beautiful in a different way to the stunning beauty of Cornwall. We saw a kingfisher by the river at Sandy Balls three days in a row. It’s flatter then the rugged coastline in Boscastle so it’s easier to go for long walks (unless you’re Graham because he doesn’t mind hills).

Kingfisher River

8. We enjoy deer spotting as we drive along the roads. This may prove dangerous if they decide to wizz out in front of the car but so far so good.

9. We can choose between river and beach when we take Hugo for a walk. He loves both but I think he secretly prefers the sand between his toes.

10. There is a plethora of historic sites, bronze age settlements, NT properties, and interesting cities within a short distance of our target area. We’ve spent a few days at Old Sarum near Salisbury, a weekend at Winchester and its Christmas market, visited Mottisfont and Hinton Ampner, and cartwheeled along the beach from Chewton Bunny to Highcliffe Castle’s Christmas fair. (We didn’t really cartwheel but we would have if our ancient bodies would have been up for it.)

Our househunting is near its end and we hope to be able to announce our new abode shortly. Until it’s all signed I won’t go into details in case it all falls through.

Chilly Balls

All is looking goood on the house hunt front. In the meantime we have been spending our time getting to know the local area. A couple of National Trust properties, a Rufus stone, a Winchester, and a Salisbury later, we feel we are doing the right thing in moving and starting a new adventure. Here are a few photos from our exploits.

Solo in The New Forest

Under the Rufus Oak

Laden at Mottisfont

Christmas cocks at Mottisfont

Icy Balls

Balls and Buttocks

Another ballsy week was spent in the New Forest at Sandy Balls. The walks are lovely here with beautiful Autumn colours, the occasional mushroom, and a tree carved with a face which we found rather amusing.

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Not a magic mushroom

Sniff sniff

Old Man of Balls

After a day trip to Old Sarum we are now having a couple of days in Winchester. Yesterday was spent wandering around the cathedral christmas market with my M & S ‘no visible panty line’ undies draped underneath each buttock due to the extremely slippery fabric. Thank heavens for the gusset is all I can say.

At The Roebuck pub (where we stayed in the car park last night – thank you Britstops and cousin Tracey for the recommendation) we met one of the chaps with a market stall. It costs £5,000 to rent a stall for 36 days!! Good grief. Hugo tried to attack the pub dog, Floyd, who is a giant Briard, and a cockerpoo puppy called Tessa. Thankfully we restrained him from his planned assault on the Doberman at the bar. Despite Hugo’s unpleasantness the owners remained extremely friendly and it was great to have somewhere so close to town where we could stay over and have good food and a fab atmosphere.

Off to HInton Ampner today for yet another walk in the woods. Mr Fluffy hates towns so he feels that if he lets me have one day walking around shops that makes up for the other 364 days a year he makes me go for a walk. Hmmm.

There’s been some positive news regarding our house hunt but I won’t say too much in case all is jinxed.

Cassettes and Cathedrals

Mr Fluffy is currently unbearable as he has just had an article published in the December issue of Motorhome Monthly Magazine. The article ‘offers some useful advice on using and emptying a cassette toilet’. Charming. He is very excited as I am supposed to be having two articles published in the same magazine but he has beaten me to it. Sigh. Hopefully mine will be in next month’s issue.

Mr Fluffy’s article

We popped off to Shepton Mallet to the home building and renovation show yesterday. It was ok. We got a few ideas and lots of brochures for our new house whenever we find one. Then on to The Benett Arms in Semly near Salisbury. It’s a Britstops pub so Motorhomes can stay overnight. The food in this 16th century pub was pretty good and the village was lovely and peaceful. Hugo even behaved himself. Mr Fluffy wasn’t too impressed with the to reception. There wasn’t any. This was a disaaaaaaaster as Strictly was on and it was Blackpool night so he kindly offered to brace Storm Angus and get the satellite out in the pouring rain. Time to get a self seeking roof-mounted satellite dish.

Salisbury and its cathedral was today’s destination. We usually have a race to see who is the first to spot a green man but neither of us saw one. I bit the bullet and asked a guide who said ‘ oh yes there are loads in here’. She kindly took us around to point out the ones we had missed. There were loads and our mistake was looking up instead of down. We saw one on the central part of the roof but others were on the base of a column, on a memorial to a handsome moustachioed chap, and others were around a door. The most interesting part of the cathedral was the oldest part of the building dedicated to the Virgin Mary. An ancient wooden statue of Madonna and child stands in an alcove. Hugo was allowed in as well.

Salisbury gargoyles

Cathedral interior

Madonna and child

Cathedral ceiling

There’s a good car park at Churchill Gardens which we are staying in tonight. It’s £1.70 all day on a Sunday but pay per hour Monday to Saturday from 8AM. Hopefully we won’t get moved on. Back to Sandy Balls tomorrow.

We’ve Gone All Sandy Balls

We won a trip to Sandy Balls in The New Forest back in Septemeber and we’re now back for a few days to catch up on washing and chill out for a while. Despite the amusing name the setting is lovely; ancient woodland,open fields, and free jacuzzis. It’s also very cheap in this low season so we are totally loving that as well.

Our version of the supermoon

Our househunting is going well and there are one or two possibilities but more on that when we know for sure. We’re looking around Hengitsbury Head which has lovely beaches, a stunning river, and is close to Christchurch and Southbourne. Unfortunately the pub situation is a little sparse with only a Harvester close by. It is on the river though so has lovely views. It also has cheap wine which is also a plus. Just a 10 to 20 minute walk further would take us into some lovely pubs and restaurants in either Christchurch or Southbourne so we can walk off the booze after a big night out.

Mr Fluffy refused to join me for a jacuzzi yesterday as last time we were here there was a rather unsavoury man doing something unpleasant in it ( I won’t say what). Thankfully I had it to myself yesterday and felt very chuffed that I managed 20 laps of the pool. It’s not Olympic sized, I hasten to add, but it’s a fair size. I left when an extremely cute 4 year old in a minions t shirt and hilarious goggles informed me it was time for his swimming lessons. The thought of dozens of similarly-clad children splashing around would have led to a cuteness overload I would not have been able to cope with.

Tomorrow we are having a meet-up with a structural engineer on one house and checking out another one we’ve been wanting to see for ages but the owner has not been available. Fingers crossed. Then on to Shelton Mallet for the home builders show – who knows.

I’m unable to load photos at present due to the lack of Sandy Ball wee fee action so will put some on at a later date.

Lymington’s Out … and So Is Lyndhurst

After spending the day in Lymington, Graham realised his kayak may be a little outclassed by the super yachts in the harbour so we will not be moving there. As lovely as it is it’s not the place for us. Rather excitingly we found a discarded Nicole Fahri hat in a field so it’s coming home for a good wash for future wearing action.

We moved on to Lyndhurst in the New Forest which had a ferrari dealership on one corner of the High Street and a Maserati dealer on the other. Once again we felt a little outdone and our humble Rav 4 and Fiat 500 would not passs muster so this town is also off the list. There is a great antique centre though and they were very keen on Hugo.

Isle of Wight Ferry takes off

Dickie Does Dorset

The first time we went to Lulworth Cove a naked man with a gigantic penis emerged from the sea. It was December and the freezing rain and wind did nothing to cause the usual shrinkage that chaps experience in cold weather. Unfortunately I didn’t manage to get a photo as by the time I had regained consciousness he’d draped a towel around the offending article.

Lulworth Cove hot boating action

This time, yesterday, we met a film crew. Not quite as eye-popping but rather fabulous as they are making a movie of the book ‘On Chesil Beach’. All that emerged from the sea was a rather attractive cameraman in a figure hugging wetsuit, fresh from filming on a rather attractive sailboat.

On Chesil Beach

Birds having a lovely time near Chesil beach

Graham on Chesil Beach

By coincidence, last night we found ourselves parked up by Chesil Beach when we discovered a place near Portland that is popular with Windsurfers. Loving the visitor’s centre there. Really interesting and attractive stock which is a massive change from most such establishments.

Bounce bounce

We’re in Dorset house hunting. Having spent the last 20 years in Boscastle we feel it’s now time to move on for a new adventure. The area we’re focusing on is around Hengitsbury Head/Southbourne but we may expand our search. We need somewhere that has beaches, walks, shops, theatres and good restaurants – no biggie. If anyone wants to recommend anywhere please do.

Corfe Castle

Ahhh